


Golden

by thatfantasyworldofmine



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 12:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1550744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatfantasyworldofmine/pseuds/thatfantasyworldofmine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Doctor releases Rose from the Time Vortex, he contemplates the moments he has left as this Doctor before he changes into another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden

When the singing faded, Rose felt like crying. The warmth, the light and beauty and absolute freedom and power at her disposal slipped from her grasp, leaving her utterly incomplete. How could she ever be complete again without the light? She felt weak; human, pathetic.  _Tiny_. But the pain - the pain was gone too and Rose felt the coolness of relief flush through her system. Oxygen became relevant again as it rushed through her nostrils; touch flared in her fingertips and then spread to the rest of her body. The Bad Wolf exited Rose Tyler, sucked beyond its will into another body - the body whose lips were currently pressed against her own.

All the yellow faded and she was left standing in the arms of her Doctor, the man she loved, and he had saved her. He freed her. She stood with her lips locked against his, desperately wishing she could reach up and hug him but the light was gone now, and she didn’t even have the strength to lift her hand. Her eyes floated open and she stared into his glowing, golden orbs. A faint smile alighted her face even as tears started to form; she knew what he was feeling now and while it hurt so much, it was also glorious.

_Thank you._

Could he hear her? She was only thinking it.

_You’re safe now, Rose. Go to sleep._

Ah, that was her Doctor. Master of deflection. Would he understand what she really meant? But his words were almost hypnotic… Rose’s eyes closed. Her mind took a second longer.

_Thank you…_

Her body gave in to the exhaustion of housing the heart of the TARDIS in her tiny corporeal form for so long, sagging in the Doctor’s arms before he gently lowered her to the floor.

His mind was  _alive_. So much more alive than it had ever been. He could feel everything before, but now he could feel  _everything_. All of time and space; every millisecond that had ever existed, that was existing at that needlepoint in time, and that would occur post-release of his ship’s heart.

The Doctor wasted no time in both glorifying in the experience, and hastening to be rid of it. As much as it pained him, the very thought of the agony Rose must have been in to accommodate the heart of the TARDIS -  _"Bad Wolf"_  - for so long made his gut clench violently. His body felt like he was being burned from the inside out. Someone had ignited a torch inside his chest then doused his insides with gasoline. The light and warmth was so intense, such was the raw power of his ship, that even his body could not hold it for an extended amount of time. Nor, apparently, was he  _meant_ to have it at all; Rose had obviously been meant to become “Bad Wolf”, else the power would have burned her entire being almost instantly. No, he was not meant to have it at all, but it didn’t matter. Only Rose mattered, and if she held it for any longer than necessary, she would die. And that was unacceptable.

As the Doctor felt the power leave his being, there was a longing for it back within him almost immediately. Despite the absolute pain it caused, despite the fact he  _knew_  that now he would regenerate in front of Rose - essentially  _die_  - he yearned for the closeness he had experienced with one of his oldest friends. But the sacrifice was necessary, and gladly given by him as he let the light go and rush back to the heart of the TARDIS, deep within the machine. The doors swung shut, the room was bathed in only the dull glow of the computers, and the Doctor smiled faintly but fondly at the police box.

_It’s okay,_ he whispered with his mind.  _It’s okay._

Rose. The little human he had sacrificed his life for. She lay still on the ground, precisely where he’d left her, so spent she was by the ordeal she had induced to save him. Silly ape. Kind, compassionate, fierce, silly little ape that he was so completely in love with that she deserved his life.

The Doctor crouched beside her and brushed the hair away from her pale cheek. Her skin was pleasantly warm, and upon making contact with her skin, he brushed her mind with his to make sure she was okay. When he did, he recoiled both mentally and physically; Rose’s mind was both alarmingly weak and blindingly strong. Like the unbreakable, shining sound a thin, fragile crystal glass makes when struck with a knife; his beautiful Rose Tyler’s mind was thin and weak, easily shattered upon being struck too hard, but the pure, clear strength of her sound was so strong it was nearly deafening.

A brilliant, proud smile formed on his face.  _Oh, Rose Tyler. You’re brilliant, you are._  Ever so gently, he scooped her unresisting form into his arms and held her close to his chest, cradling her tightly and committing every moment of closeness to his main memory.  _You better remember this_ , he silently warned his future self, so close now he could almost taste the regeneration energy. How would - how  _could_  he ever explain this to Rose? He glanced down at her as he entered the TARDIS; she was deeply unconscious, head lolling with each step he took, and would remain so for at least the next seven or so minutes. He could hold on that long. Use the time to first get them away from Satellite Five; Jack Harkness would be on them any minute now once he realised he was actually alive, and one little tibit the Doctor had noticed while he held the yellow light within him was that, under no circumstances, must Jack accompany them. The Captain would have to figure it out on his own. Then, after that, the Doctor would have to figure out something to say to his beloved companion before he died and became a new man.

As gently as he could, the Doctor placed Rose down on the grates, leaving her sprawled on the floor to quickly head for the console and fly his beloved ship away from Satellite Five. He flew the TARDIS deep into the vortex; the only place he could fly perfectly without making the entire console room jolt around like a roller coaster, and consequently send his unconscious companion flying. Once done, he eyed her from the console, almost craving her oblivious state. The glow rippling across the veins in his hands caught his eye, and his stomach clenched uncomfortably. What would he tell her? Rose, his dear, caring, sweet Rose; she’d want to help him, and try to stop what was coming. Regeneration, even though she had no idea what it was. The Doctor clenched his teeth as he realised he was about to scare Rose probably more than she would ever let on.  _Too late now, idiot_ , he chastised himself, staring at her face in the moments before she woke. Her lips were slack, eyes closed. Wisps of hair caught at the edge of her mouth; if he was next to her, he would brush them away, but the Doctor already knew he would never touch Rose Tyler again in this body. The thought alone made tears prick at his eyes. He was going to die… she would have to watch. His wonderfully brave Rose Tyler, witnessing his death and his rebirth into a new man.

Sniffing and shaking his head at himself, the Doctor turned to examine the pumping time rotor as he heard slight scuffle marks on the grates. She was waking up. What would she remember?  _Would_  she remember at all? Part of him hoped she would remember the kiss he gave to save her life, and part of him did not. His hands glinted gold, and he glanced at them. His lips pressed into a hard line for a moment, then her lovely accent pierced the silence of the console room.  _What happened?_

The Doctor’s lips turned up into a small smile. His hearts were racing; there was only a minute left, if that. Here it was. Time to die, with Rose Tyler at his side when he was made new.After the Doctor releases Rose from the Time Vortex, he contemplates the moments he has left as this Doctor before he changes into another.


End file.
